Blog @ lisadonoughe.com
Ok, I guess I’m one of those girls who does love a man in a uniform. And they are everywhere in Berlin! All tradesmen/women wear these kinds of jumpsuits. Not sure if it’s because it seems old-school but I find this tradition charming. To me, it signals a level of professionalism and quality service.
I booked Barbara Smith on her first Today Show appearance in 1995 when I was working as her publicist. I remember standing next to her as she whipped out that famous pink and green mascara and nervously added another layer to her sparkling eyes. There was never a moment when her smile and beauty didn’t stop you in your tracks. And there was never a moment when I was with her when her loving, devoted husband wasn’t either with us or
Now Barbara is six years in to a battle with Alzheimer’s that she and her husband chose to make public. Before the disease had taken too much a strong hold on her, she and her husband co-authored a book about the challenges associated with the disease and they made many public appearances together to show the world what it looks like to love a spouse who is fighting this wretched disease.
Like so many who have weighed in on this topic, I lost my maternal grandmother to Alzheimer’s in 1987.
The Washington Post article that ran a story this week about Dan and his new part-time-live in girlfriend
It’s the lack of lipstick on Barbara’s lips and her grey hair.
I get it. Dan is tired, remains firmly committed to Barbara but also wants a full life and to be loved by someone who is able to be fully present in a way that Barbara is no longer capable of. But I find it horrific that no one – Dan, Alex (his girlfriend), their daughter or anyone else who was in their house the day the companion video for the WaPo story was shot, didn’t stop and say “Hey, we need hair and make up. This is Barbara Smith. She is the second black woman to ever be on the cover of Mademoiselle Magazine. Let’s honor her and who she is/was and make up this gorgeous woman in a way that shows the world how beautiful she still is – despite being a victim of this ugly disease.”
Why isn’t someone connecting those dots?
Loving someone includes continuing to honor that person’s dignity. It is complicated to see a married man with his girlfriend and his wife all smiling and being affectionate. I don’t think it’s the triangle of love that’s a bad optic for Dan. I think it’s simpler than that. Put some gorgeous lipstick on that beautiful woman while you continue your caregiving and your Facebook posting.